What's Past and What's Future?

An unfortunately reality of our move to NYC is that every time I sit down to blog my first inclination is to apologize for the long absences between posts. I'll do what I can to resist the urge.

I'm heading up to SmAlbany on the God Ole Amtrak this morning, and this is relevant for two reasons:

First, a dear, sweet member of our family passed away this week. A man who was a shining example one of my core beliefs in life: that family is not about biology but the people who love and care for you. My step-father Jak's dad Duke died on Tuesday; a month ago he was complaining of a sore throat which turned out to be advanced esophageal cancer. He was diagnosed March 25th, about 2.5 weeks ago. Just a strong reminder to love those around you while you can and let those who try to love you do so.

Duke will be sorely missed.

The second reason my travel state is relevant: Amtrak doesn't have wifi available... I'm using my phone as a router!

If you are of sufficiently questionable intelligence to follow me on Twitter than you know JJMIV & I got Droid phones about two weeks ago. Using the PDANet Free app I have USB tethered my phone to my laptop so I can use that connection as a router. It's going well, the connections only slightly slower than my home; though I will say the phone in my lap is running a bit hot.

There's been a lot of chatter lately about how awesome it is to live in the future. That all the cool gidgets from futuristic sci-fi are now in our hot-little-hands. Yes, JJMIV's got the Tricorder App and has been taking base scans of our apartment and comparing the magnetic fields to when he's riding the subway. I've been using it for more practical nerd-applications: such as using Hoccer to throw inappropriate pictures across the dinner table to my best friend (who, strangely, got a Droid the same day...).

But I have found annoying down sides to all this access; and they're nothing new to those who've had smartphones forever: I'm more impatient, annoyed when I don't get an instant response, and find myself unintentionally IMing before I've even gotten up to go pee in the morning. Those are all things I expected, and that I also believe will diminish as the 'newness' of my toy wears off.

What I didn't expect was how much relief I would feel when removed from that high level of connection. I had anticipated it so much that it never occurred to me that the hour I spend on the subway would be a respite from the green blinking light that tells me I have a notification. That the 5 days we spent off the grid on our vacation would force me to meditate and connect with and think about myself.

As awful and selfish as that sounds, we're becoming disconnected from self-connection. I think our level of connection via technology is making us completely reactive; and we're coming to expect that from those around us. To text, and reply, and IM, and confirm, and send, and send, and send. And so, slipping underground on the N train home in the evening, I feel the cord temporarily cut. Though I am surrounded by noise and annoyance, at least I'm living in a moment around me instead of reacting to a virtual moment.

This has been a week of reaction; to illness, to IMs, to texts and loss. To crying and drinking and trying to sooth a weary family as much as can be done. Ironically; having the connection via my phone has allowed me the opportunity to write this. To connect with myself for a moment, and through my writing with you. Maybe this 'Living in the Future' thing isn't so bad after all.

~DMcC